It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize