"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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