I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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