you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
