You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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