She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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