when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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