never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
