just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
