Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
