I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
nutella sex= disaster
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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