There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
