Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
