i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
