I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
