see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
