I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
