i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
