he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
