I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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