i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
