And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
