Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
