Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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