I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
