Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
