It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
