6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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