So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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