i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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