I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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