he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
