perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
