I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
