Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she told me i tasted like america
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
