mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
