Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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