I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
