i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
