Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
