I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
