OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
