I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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