I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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