The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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