Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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