I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
