I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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