I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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