I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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