If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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