This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
