love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
