He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's always time for handjobs
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
