okay pat passed out under dana's car
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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