his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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