You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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