I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My life is pants optional.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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