I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
