i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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