remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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