Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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