you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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