He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
