Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
