he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
