Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
