If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
