What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
