I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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