At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
